keeping up with jones

every now and then, we must pull out our hard hats & learn to play the architect.
we must take long looks at what we've built - then gather the courage it takes to destroy it.
then rebuild.

it's all about rebuilding.

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and i'm learning that the me i am now is the best me i can be.
and that's fine & acceptable.
the me i am tomorrow may be different - but i will be doing my best impression of self.
feel me?

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so i've spent the last few days in a mock sports bar learning the ins & outs of the bartending industry.
and i'm loving it.
all these years of college & i'm learning that bartending is my life's calling?
wtf is that?
but oh well.
it wasn't a complete waste. if you can believe it, my college career was much like that of Ron and Dwayne's on A Different World. i loved every second of it.
and not because of the foolishness alone - but also because it was fxcking awesome.
the marching wildcats, the horrible cafe food, the panty raids, the FOOLISHNESS!!!!

but bartending. wow.
and i'm like the valedictorian in there, which really boosts the ego.

so we finish friday & i'm looking forward to being employed in a bar, maybe topless, counting money.
O_o
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so i'm writing this poem & titling it:

I AIN'T GOT IT

rose are red
violets are blue
i owe sally mae, via and dicover's ass too
i ain't got it

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you ever want to just be forgotten for a few days?
hoping your phone's not taking any incoming calls and your house is too far to drive to on a humbug?
relive a langston hughes poem or a cobain attempt - but temporarily...
damn...

the good news is that life is still great!
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side note: those that don't read are no better of than those who cannot.
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i should be sleep right now - doing the REM thing.
but i'm not. i'm up playing the failed architect, attempting to fit my life into some grand design.
destroy. build. and keep building.

taylor swift won, lady gaga turned me into a fan and beyonce managed to match my grandmother's drapes.
jay stopped boycotting, and kanye was probably sitting home holding a picture of his mom in one hand, a bottle of scotch in the other, his head in wissaname's lap and kicking the tv every time taylor went on stage. sounds appropriate.

but i'm just blogging to blog at the point.
i need to get back to this editing and chilling and grapefruit juice before my eyes shut.
oh shxt - i forgot to tell y'all i've been sleeping recently.
but hey - even superman died.

so what i'm saying is this: the problem with today's youth is they weren't raised on fried spam sandwiches like my generation was.

fantasy is what people want - but reality is what they need. i'm retiring from the fantasy world soon. (inspired by lh)
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so i've been sitting back relaxing, drinking grapefruit juice, eating oodles of noodles, staying clean and reading the newspaper.
apparently the earthquake of haiti has opened up the old auction blocks i thought had finally closed down.
#wrong.

the earthquake isn't even a few days old and the great white hopes are already stepping in and bidding on the children with the good bone structures and pretty teeth. way to go. i'm not too shocked. and while i do agree that these kids are probably headed to a lifestyle many dream of, this may not be the best thing. it could actually cause more harm. and what if these children aren't orphans at all. what if they're being sold by the shady ones? the untrusted ones? damn.

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so my brother @pnoty and his love of many years held on to god's unchanging hand and tied that knot this past saturday. way to go. she became ms. sills and we became the group of guys he may not be able to kick it with too much any more. lol. see how that works? hahaha.




and we attempted to send him out properly, but between the strippers, bottles of expensive liquor, phones being dead and stolen, and searching for cocaine, x and other illicit drugs, i'm not sure if we succeeded. but we did have a good time.

and yes, i said stolen phone (in case you really gave a shxt).
suspects description:
white woman - late 20's - trailer trash blonde hair - 5'6" - kswiss shoes.


and as i filed the report with the police, i was quickly reminded where i was: racist florida.
it didn't take 5 police cars and 8 cops to find out about a missing cell phone.
nor did they have to run my social security number.
you should have seen the look on their face when they found out i was a victim.
wow.
fuck all florida cops...(except those who are friends + their mom -shoutout to @ladyneuro)

and when i find the suspect - i'm going to do her like ol' boy did on TAKEN.
"good luck"

note: if i had naked pictures of you in my phone - i pray your face wasn't attached. hahahaha.
O_o

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ladies & gentlemen: introducing: The Clone




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brushing off my howard university sweatpants, i realize that i make this life look too easy.
i mean, don't get me wrong: my life is fxcking awesome. but...that's really because i make it look this way.
you never see photos of the bad days.
you never see the decisions i often have to make that could make shxt more difficult.
you weren't there when the blood - sweat and tears were left on the wall.
so i gotta show you now:




but those days are few and far between. so don't expect pictures of the bad days often. just once in a blue when the money is low & the rent is due. and the hustles seem impossible.

side note: difficult takes a hour. impossible takes a day.

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side question: how soon after katrina did the new orleans jokes start?

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i think we should punch all the teachers who tell their students: "i won't take off points for incorrect spelling."
they're the reason i have to read tweets and blogs and papers that piss me off at the american system of learning.
fxck!!!

Stop Rewarding Mediocrity

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i was having a conversation with one of my circles of friends about the old college days and the crazy things we used to do. and we somehow got on the subject of trains. not the choo-choos.
and one of the women of the women at the table asked:

"well, what do you think the girls are thinking now - years later?"

they're not thinking anything.
they didn't see it as being a whore. they saw college as the "doing me" chapter of their life.
or that one night of being a freak.
and when the story gets told to their best friends (bff's), they'll call it a threesome and forget about the other 5 dudes present.
they'll forget about the face masks they opted to wear at the climax of the night.

then they become school teachers, mothers & grandmothers themselves, and we smile at them during homecoming, shaking their husband's hand saying:

"that's a good woman you got there."

and we smile.

yeah - i miss college.

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and right now i'm in west palm beach.
not looking forward to that security gate tomorrow.
it's where we part. it's where we leave a few things.

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i end with this:
if ever {body] in your clique is rich - your clique is rugged.
nobody would fall 'cause everyone would be each others' crutches.