question everything (a day like today)

first and foremost:
happy 99th to those men who have walked through fire but never felt the flames.
i lift my cup to my brothers:

kappa alpha psi

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so last night i told her i'd grab the moon if her world ever got too dark.

we've somehow managed to lock ourselves in every room of the house with a doorknob and coexist in the exact same spaces.
i guess we've done what my seventh grade science teacher taught was impossible.

today i pressed my back against the back of the toilet and wrote you a letter you will never read.
at least until i die.

i pressed my back against the seat and remembered your back pressed against the seat on that bus that time we thought we'd create sex stories with our clothes on - and strangers sitting right in front of us.

i opened your letter with: "to my little snot rag"
in case you find my book and decide to be nosy.

you are not on this planet with me.
damn you and your shit to do.
one day i want to nikki giovanni you.
kidnap you like the poets do.

we can eat fish from sticks on islands with names that are hard to pronounce while watching the water roll across your ashy feet.
(i just laughed out loud for real)

i pressed my back against the chair questioning whether or not we'd be able to lock ourselves outside.
build an imaginary box around us, wondering if the the beach-goers are watching.
they will be.

i always seem to capture the sunsets when i miss you.
this time, i captured the moon too.
and grabbed it - hoping customs allows me to bring it to you.

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so i'm making this the first blog of the new year.
i truly believe that we spend the year the same way we spend the night we brought it in.

i will spend mine in love.
i have run - tripped & fell hard for it all.
i love this shxt i call life. and why not.
i'm surrounded by beautiful people and beautiful people have me.

and i'm not sure if i've written this before, but if so, who cares...i say it again:
the one thing no one will EVER be able to say is that i wasn't there when they needed me.

i got your back like chiroprac-tic!

love this fxcking life like it's your last.
'cause hell - it just may be.
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totally unrelated & possibly absurd & obscene shxt below:

-we must learn the temperature limits of our dxcks, fellas. if your girl likes the shower water on ACID RAIN, you need to know your dxck can't handle it.

-if you're gonna let her sit on your face, make sure she leaves you an air hole. don't be that fool who dies with coochie juice on your face. it ain't cool.
-please take the time out of your busy schedules to learn the difference between YOUR & YOU'RE.


-in 2010 focus more on achieving your dreams, and not just the dreams of your employer. come from behind the desk for a few minutes and compare your personal accomplishments to your career accomplishments.

-maybe we can't turn a hoe into a housewife, but we've managed to make them school teachers and doctors.

-why the hell doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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so we took a few strolls around central park & laughed at the horse pulled carriages and those who thought it was romantic to smell like shit at the end of the ride.
times square was bright - but not as bright as us.

we made the world shine.
it was like a levi's commercial - "oh pioneers."

and it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

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and now i'm facing a decision:
i really hate fxcking dc!
i'm not sure so much if it's dc or if it's howard
but i'm giving god a week to give me a path out of here.
if that path opens up, i'm packing my bags and running fast.

i'm no stranger to regret.
so maybe i'll regret the decision of dropping out of howard & leaving what i have here.
but i've always believed that a life without regrets is a life not worth living.

who wants to live a life full of all the right decisions?

so this year i want to focus on those regrets, bad decisions and shxt i do wrong.
everything i do correctly has been perfected and repeated. no need to dwell on that.

"loiterers should be arrested."
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-she has nothing but bubblegum and a condom in her $800 louis vuitton bag. other than that, she's empty.

let's get things in order. starting with our house. then our pockets, wallets and purses. no matter the cost.
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i used to have a fear of having a daughter.
i remember my college career & the girls i flaunted & introduced to a trife life.
and to think that could happen to some little person attached to me was unacceptable.

but i'd teach her. so i don't worry.
fellas: your daughters need to learn 'the game' more than your son does.
you hold her hand and tell her she's beautiful everyday.

you talk to her about the man you were before you were her father.
you teach her that life.

because we all know that it's scripted.
the lines haven't changed - the moves are still the same.
fools are still asking the girls if they are ticklish and attempting to get them on top.
then the kissing begins.

you tell her not to fall for that bullshxt.
cool?
COOL!

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BUT -
we must raise our SONS too!





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so let's fill our red & white plastic cups with our favorite shxt
and toast to a day like today - then fall asleep at the bar:


then QUESTION EVERYTHING

(photo courtesy of @Vwayne - http://www.vwayneb-ondtheveil.blogspot.com/)

dear christmas:

pictures placed in blog are random.
shot out to DC with the song:


dear christmas:

you and i go back to the cowboys of moo mesa & a little before that.
remember that year i asked for a g.i. joe tent and my god sister asked for a barbie bike and she fxcked around and got the barbie tent and i got a bmx dirt bike.

i was 7 then & hurt.
that's the last time i really fxcked with you!

well, i'm grown now & slightly muslim so i can't really get down with you like that
but i make sure that folks are still happy.

but christmas - i went to sleep with some bullshxt on my brain and the taste of doritos on my touch. cooler ranch, of course. i dare not try one of those new flavors they're experimenting with. i don't know why, it's just not my thing. i been fxcking with cooler ranch since clarissa explained it all - since before doug was rocking out to i-i-i like killer tofu!

so i'm making sure everybody smiles today.
and keeping the people smiling.

but for real for real, christmas - fxck you.

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now i'm watching the cleveland/lakers game thinking about the time kobe bryant butt raped that woman - apologized & life was good again. and it probably is very true that tiger woods would be fxcking a white man before he'd be seen with a black woman. who knows.
let's just be random.

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waiting for next week:

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i recently learned to never ask the girl whose life was fucked up before you lost contact with her how she is doing and what's new these days. she answers.

she tells you about her whole family dying within months of each other, and her having to drop out of school to support her mother's cat and cocaine habit. she goes on to tell you how she no longer trusts men because of some dog she fxcked repeatedly, and she ends with "and how you been?"
and i opt out of responding to the message because i've been GREAT - but i don't want my success to rain on her bullshxt.

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reminder to those looking to KEEP UP WITH JONES in 2010:
get your fxcking passports.
we have forecasts to change and lives to get outta the way.
i'm tired of hearing you say "it's a small world."
the world isn't small. THIS COUNTRY is small.
your back yard does not serve as a representative.

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so dear christmas:
although you and i no longer fxck around - let's plan a date sometime in the future (maybe 2022) and do it BIG!
cool?

whoever can find out who this girl is, hunt her down and make her eat pork, will win a macbook pro!


oh...and a big fxck you to mrfabulosity for lying saying he was a member of my great fraternity!
that is all.