keeping up with jones

okay - so i'm going to stay on the east.
it is what it is - and i don't miss cali at all.
it's just how it is sometimes. it's either for you - or it isn't - and it's not for me.

but i've been on the east for a week now i believe - no no no - two weeks - and my clothes are still in a suitcase and bags.
i think i even have a pair of 2(x)ist boxer briefs in my backpack.

side note: it may be a good idea to carry a pair or drawls on you at all times. you never know what may happen.

i'm waiting to see what's happening with my housing situation now.
people are playing games and not taking into consideration that i am living out of a suitcase.
and please do not get me wrong. i don't mind living out of a suitcase, but i'd like the option.

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and so @jadeandwele & @loveydayz & i are working on some big shxt for this fall.
it's all about that hustle & hitting the ground running.

what's funny is that i was sitting in a classroom once and it was everyone's second day there, but my first, and the professor said to me:

prof: you have to pick which group you want to be in for your final project.

i looked at her funny because i didn't know these folks from a hole in the wall.
they all looked at me like "um...if you pick my group you better be good."
and then there was me:

me: well, no need to look at me like that folks. i'm probably the smartest one in here, and can only work with smart folks. so i need to see transcripts.

and they all turned around as the teacher sat there with her mouth open.

a few months later i was called into her office and told that i was the reason students didn't feel comfortable coming to class. i made them feel inferior if they gave a wrong answer, or if their reading abilities were slacking - or anything remotely unsatisfying. i laughed and asked if that was all.

i mean - shxt!
am i wrong for expecting the best out of college students?
maybe i am.

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oh oh oh!

so...because i have friends in places higher than jesus - i was able to get some much needed information.
without telling too much in this blog - and hopefully leaving ONE or more of you wanting to return...i will say this:

i have some big plans going down in FRESNO, CA really soon.

let me tell YOU what a psychic told ME:

"you have less compassion than the average human. you have the ability to do serious HARM and not feel any emotion during or after."

hahahahaha.
i need to stop going to psychics.

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it's 2:03am - in 57 minutes i will be on the road headed to detroit, michigan to see family i haven't seen in 3 years. as much as i hate detroit, i think i may enjoy this trip - and i get to see some of these folks...

wish me luck!
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in closing:
i've decided to not let the meek inherit the earth. it will be for the hustlers and grinders!

i have fallen out of love with the man i am becoming.
he seems a bit too serious.
he's too focused on his goals and not focused enough on shiny things and tattoos.

well, shiny things have never really caught my attention unless we count the bangles marinda james (now smith) wore everyday since kindergarten. i loved her first. she taught me to color in the lines.

the man i am becoming seems to not tolerate too much, which is cool - but it's also getting rid of some of the dead weight (bad friends) that hung around.
there is no room for idiots, real-life assholes, and the incompetent.

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i heard a 25 year old bragging on his latest number bump.
he had gone from 75 to 81. not a bad leap in a matter of 3 days - but you're 25.

at 21 & sometimes 22 you're allowed the foolish mistakes and bad decisions that have to happen to shape paradigms and shxt of the sort - but at 25 you are not.
your biggest fxck up should not have a name and a ponytail.

there should be no left over goals tucked under your bed with your box of porn and dirty plates.
the house you live in should not be shared with your folks - and your name should not have to be written on the orange juice.

you are grown.

and then there is:

the economy is bad
student loans are expensive
mom needs help paying bills
trying to get your credit together
just graduated college and need to get on the good foot

this is the point where i sigh and not go into any of the bullshit excuses listed above.
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the man i am becoming - like the man i was - is still the most important thing.
he is to be loved with the mind - not the heart.

neither of us have quite learned a concrete method to break the mind (without sacrificing self).
so it's safer.
the heart is easily broken after the promises and expectations. they all seem to shatter.
they subscribe to chinua (smart people know what i'm talking about).
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the man i am becoming is closing this blog with the following:
there are no lucky people on this planet on which i live - just hustlers.

so i'm sitting here at a bar in southeast dc drinking warm godiva and realizing that i may have been a bit jealous at some point in the past couple of weeks.

WAIT!!!

not the kind of jealous that simple mofos find taking over their bodies and minds, causing them to talk shit behind someone's back or write in honesty boxes and send anonymous emails.
no no no - not that kind of ignorance.

but the kind of jealous that makes you work harder at a few goals.
person i was jealous of: mr. newbold (my bruddah).

so because of him i will be hitting the gym in the mornings & afternoons getting a few things back that belonged to me - like my six pack and my chest and my arms. lol.
he's my trainer now - and i'm recommending him to anyone in the DC area that wants to work out at Bally's Total Fitness and get to that goal of yours in no time!

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okay so...
a moment of realness if you don't mind:

my goal is not to be rich.
i think rich people get comfortable and forget about their grind and hustle days.
i love my grind and hustle days. i love the struggle. the struggle keeps me alive.
i want to always have something in life that i need to grind and hustle for. when i am content - i know death will be near.

what i'm doing now is securing a future.
i want to be a college professor one day - speaking out.
i love making film, and writing stage and screenplays.
but teaching will bring a smile they are unable to.

2011 i will be degreed (terminally)
and ready.

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finally:

i want to become a socialite.
what do i have to do.

who's around me that wants to party hard all week and get known?
let's make it happen people.

so i'm posting this ad:

i am searching for a wingman or a wingwoman to hit the bars, lounges, parties, clubs, and spots with on a regular basis, making ourselves the concierges of the street.

you down.

here are the eligibility requirements:

*you must be publicly presentable. (if other people find you grotesque - chances are i will too)

*you must have taken at least 45 credits in an accredited 4-year university. (nothing against community college - but they usually mean you were either lazy, or too afraid to leave home - and i don't want to hang with either.....THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS ...EXCEPTIONS MAY APPLY)

*you must maintain a positive attitude 100% of the time - even when cussing the bouncer out for not letting us in.

*you must be able to run four blocks in under 1.5 minutes in case of gun fire at the hood clubs.

*you must be resourceful. if i pick up a date at the club - you must be able to get home without a fuss.

*you must know how to make a good drink - or at least down them quickly!

MORE RULES TO COME LATER.
APPLY TODAY.

CURRENTLY LOOKING IN: Washington, DC & New York City

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those of you who are participating in the abstinence: IT STARTED 2hours and 35minutes ago!

no sex til january 1st.
this is not for the weak!

woo!

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there are those sleeping.

and i am sort of beefing because i have began to care about such a situation. i have too many friends who are very very talented, calling themselves writers, actors, dancers, singers, etc... but in real life they are mcdonalds employees or working third shift cleaning up urinal stains and dusting photos in some mogul's office.

they are not that which they hoped to be over morning's breakfast. they are they THAT that they have becoming. the cleaners and servers.

and please please please do not misinterpret what i say: i am not calling these friends of mine 'losers' or anything of the sort. i am simply trying to teach people that life is not about simply giving yourself a title and hoping it becomes real.

there are those who work hard at mcdonald's - but after work they hit the studio, or the park or the desk and get those achievements out! those who have learned the hustle.

i call myself a writer. i am a writer. i don't know how to be anything else.
i've been a writer since i was 5 and inspired by a story rudy huxtable wrote.
mine was better.
i am a writer.
i have self published two of my own works, and been featured in other publications.
i've had speeches read by higher-ups and had tears drop when the curtains closed at the stage play i wrote and co-produced.

that is what i do. i write.

it's what keeps me alive.

i know to many people who are merely existing in this world - with nothing but a title.

DO IT!

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to describe how i feel having completed my first film, would be pointless because you still wouldn't understand the GOOD in it all.
and i've have many dreams happen:
*my son is an arrogant genius (i love it)
*i have two books.
*multiple degrees and certificates.
*list goes on...and on...

but this is something else.
i guess even through the BS howard university put me through, everything worked out perfectly.
god thinks he's slick - but i caught on.
way to go god! way to go!

"make me good god - but not yet"

(that one was for j-to-the-ill)

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and it's sunday...
and everything fits into place, as it should on sundays.

there's a peace that exists even in times of war.
darfur must have known such sundays.