i've lived like this before.







































my deathbed bride [you have to promise] (for her - she knows)


my deathbed bride [you have to promise] (for her - she knows)
(photo by: kwesi abbensetts)

i could always be this guy
i show up
i learn his moves so they aren't mimicked and you become sick of us both
i stray from possessive words and avoid conversation about your family
that's not fair to either of us
for you to think about them i mean

there are no morning after pills for the thoughts conceived after our conversation last night
so i'll just wait for these thoughts to grow and attach themselves to my food source before i decide to abort them
i dont know who i find more important
them or me
but you sometimes get higher than both of us
you leave me behind sometimes
i hope it's cool i find you

i can wait in some small room with minimal noise in case you need to call me late and whisper
or just to hear my keys typing in infinite to help you feel alive
i'm bringing back that old feeling you miss
that overwhelming desire to run naked through the house
then the fear of being caught with me kicks in
so you keep your clothes on and text me from across the room
dear god, don't let this phone get stolen

i can always be this guy to you
it ain't gotta be fair to me
you just have to promise to smile on all occasions we have together
and if i die before or after him you have to play my deathbed bride
that one who's shroud i sniff then wait for in the next life
that has to be you
because this will always be me

looking for claire


looking for claire

don't wear the heels
we're too far beyond those impressions
those nerves
those nights on couches with miles between us next to the bowl of diet popcorn neither of us wanted to touch
this is the me i want to always be for the you that's growing
the poet you've always deserved
the man who sits on trains with the sunny disposition but sad suit
but there are letters in my book for you
find them next to the stubs and restaurant photos

find those old college sweats i gave you
find that six year old cologne spot on the hoodie
blow me a kiss before i turn this screen off

we ain't gotta be in love to make this happen
i'd marry you simply because i know you'll hold my hand when i hear about my soul mate dying
that ain't gotta be you
and you'd be fine with that
loving me can be tough i know
loving you is a struggle, but i've been there
to the top
and now i'm beyond it
i got the panoramic shots to prove it
imagine that
the width of the total picture captures the sun and the moon
vit's far too early for the stars

we're beyond the laughing for no apparent reason
we're putting in time this time
all laughs are genuine and all smiles have been etched flintstone-like into this brain of mine
if it doesn't fit in your pocket leave it
we'll come back for it later when we get tired of laughing and split this shit down the middle
take what's yours and consider taking me back

i'm not so far beyond it that i wouldn't come back for you
i'll always come back for you until there's a note left there asking me not to
never go outside of this panoramic
imagine the darkness
imagine this face

let's love like smart folks do
happily
comfortably excited
when i grab your hand be kind enough to touch my heart
be thoughtful
know that although the photographer caught you with your eyes closed i always remember you staring at me over those bowls of top ramen on that couch
i could have kissed you there

you know i'd wear the suit for you, right?
coordinate colors and assign seats
for you and no other reason
you know i'd be equally pleased by the lake teaching you to survive in harsh waters then pushing you in
because if you know that you know this poem was for you.
Return top