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so i'm starting this side note in the beginning on the blog.
well...i guess it isn't a side note - but an introduction:
i was listening to robin thick(e)'s 'lost without you' and i came to the conclusion that it is perhaps the most arrogant song i've ever heard. don't get me wrong, i thought this years ago when i first heard it, but after not hearing it for a while and then having it come on the foxx hole - i paid more attention...and yeah...ARROGANT.
so i decided i need to talk like this to people.
"how does it feel to know that i love you?"
"touch yourself when you see me."
"you wanna roll with me. you wanna stay warm and get out of the car with me"
feel me?
okay...side note is over.
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i'm in atlanta. a city i used to hate.
not because it's spread out with no real appeal - but because every time i would come, something insane would happen. like the one time i saw the crackhead shoot two people in the head, then set the house on fire.
yeah, i was that close to a crack house.
but - ironically - atlanta is the city that helped me overcome a slight fear.
yeah yeah yeah - i have a fear. well, two.
fear number one: going blind.
in atlanta station there's an exhibit called "dialogue in the dark."
you grab a blind cane, and enter into 4 rooms in complete darkness, feeling your way around with your hand and cane, using every other sense, trying to figure out where you were.
and in a group of 8, i can honestly say i would have been valedictorian had they given out grades.
but i wan't that afraid. probably because i knew within 15 minutes i'd be back in daylight. but also because i'm the kind of guy that adapts. and that exhibit proved it.
so way to go atlanta for helping me take my two-fear count down to one.
fear #2 (only one now) - drowning.
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over the past month i've learned a few incredible things about myself.
the most incredible being i seem to make folks insecure.
in my 20-something-odd years of life, i've been told many things about myself. many true - some faker than kobe's rape apology. but over the past month i've had 5 people tlel me how insecure i make them feel.
and not because of things i say, but because of the way i choose to live my life: freely.
i get out all your boxes - i get out.
fuck outta here. i live like i do because i hate traffic.
the highway to nowhere is full of idiots.
this international route is much less jammed.
side note: i've redefined 'idiot.' IDIOT: someone old enough to seek the knowledge but don't.
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guiding people to the exit door of your life doesn't always mean you love them any less. it almost always means you love yourself more.
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so basically - i had nothing to write about this time - but it'll be better next time i promise.
so i bid a good day to the thousands who are determined to make it, when the millions before them failed.
dear tiny - toya - bet - tyler perry & the ignorant:
it's 3:11am (at the start of this letter) - not sure what the end time will be or if it will ever come.
a few minutes ago i decided to dedicate the next 49 minutes of my time to watching this documentary on HBO titled:
saving african's witch children. a documentary about the children throughout african who have been branded witches by their loved ones and killed, mutilated, banished - all in the name of jesus.
To Watch CLICK HERE
side note: this is what happens when you introduce greed into a society - then force religion onto the now greedy.
i just watched a little boy get delivered to a false prophet, laid out as the false prophet poured some sort of blinding liquid into his eyes so he may not see the good people coming his way ever again, therefore he can cause no harm.
are you kidding me? naw, it's no joke, i know. that question was hypothetical.
where do you come in, you're probably asking me.
i mean, as irrelevant as i wish you were, i find you relevant at this hour.
i know too many people who will never understand the importance of helping these children because you've given this fictional lives to believe in. you've used your powers for evil. YOU, my fictional characters and coon, are the witches.
my sister is a child of a bubble. the television company providing cable inside of her bubble only broadcasts networks showing the shit to which you've contributed.
let me say this to you: there is a high price to pay for those using their power and talents to feed garbage to the people. the price i'd like each of you to pay if out of my hands, but these prayers may help.
every so often i ask myself what i'd say when i have the world listening.
i have no clue. i may remain quiet. but i will not throw bubblegum into the crowd, smile, and share with them my dreams of opening another nail shop in atlanta (i'm sure there are enough there).
i digress:
i need a f*cking needled. these bubbles need to be popped.
the children of the children had children who are now fucking.
the bubbles they will live in need to be condemned.
what is the difference between BET & a crack house? (serious question - because i have no answer).
i'm writing to make changes. i'm calling to make changes. i'm marching, changing minds, educating & enlightening to make changes.
i want to save my sister's life to make changes.
but i don't want to do it alone.
but i will.
find me.
Pissed Again - May Write More Later & Ready To See Change,
Darnell Lamont Walker
30 poems in 30 days
day 30: june 14, 2010
(photography by kwesi abbensetts)
slightly fucked up
it's slightly fucked up to say god slings dick
but i'm slightly fucked up
the vodka ain't yet take effect
and i'm eating skittles attempting to taste the rainbows on mars
in search of space from fallen queens
attempting to get drained by the fallen stars
there ain't no life on mars
just existence
much like this bullshit planet the aliens never visit
i'm chillin'
i'm teaching the children of idiots that god's within
somewhere near my kidneys with a chalice of gin
yeah that's him
i'm so slightly fucked up
i find it difficult to hold on to a field nigger thought with a house nigger education
but i maintain
i'm getting high on shit manufactured by eli lilly's people
it's been growing in the back yard in the shadows of the steeple
the reason this church is so popular
kill the preacher
kill the preacher
he lies
he didn't tell her everything
she never learned to look for the god within properly
and crucified the boy when he did so
she never recognized god on that bench
with that bitch
and his hand on his dick
she never learned that shit
the vodka's kicking in
the pills are kicking in
the skittles and the rainbows
the god and his gin
my fucking kidneys hurt
my liver's on his way out
i'm selling unicorns on pluto
with not one nigga you know
yeah i'm too far gone
space ain't what i needed
just a few milligrams of some crazy shit and a bed
knuckles deep in her kitchen
asking venus for head
butt
but
yeah
