keeping up with jones

sitting on the bed rocking out to some ginger snaps being lazy as fxck - knowing i need to get up.
but i just felt like blogging for a second about a few things that bother me:

- why the shxt is twitter acting so strange today? they almost made me check my facebook account.

- why is the 'goon' on the first 48 trying to convince the cops that he's not gay after he met a man on a chatline & the man told him that he likes his voice. you're gay, buddy.

- why am i on video chat with @labellerochelle after she set me up to fail the other night?

- what will @mswoods03 look like in an hour when she chops it down?

- why do men in florida love leather caps and plaid patterned outfits?

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and then i began wondering if maybe it's really jesus coming down out chimneys on christmas morning.
i mean, they said he'd come like a thief in the night, right?
but wait...the cookies are all fxcked up in the morning, so somebody's eating them, so maybe it really is a fat man with a beard.

but maybe - jesus did what elvis did and got fat in his old age.
and jesus would be like 2000+ years old right now i think
so he'd be swollen the heck up!

oh well. who knows. maybe they're brothers.
after all, we're all god's chillun.

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and i spent my night with my habesha friends in an after hours spot in dc.
shisha & hennessy & coffee & some shit i can't mention all night long
and laughs that'll last a few more days.

that's my new spot though.
get it in til the sun rise.

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and then i wake up to an email from my professor stating the following:

"The following is feedback on your Film History essay.

What can I say except, what is this? It seems painfully obvious that you see
little point to this class however I have no idea what to make of this assignment.

Firstly, it is not what I was expecting to read based on the previous assignment of
an outline proposal and bibliography for this essay. Further, it is just all over the place
and does not make sense within the context of Film History.

It is not academic but instead it seems to be ramblings. Either that or I am just not
intellectually advanced enough to comprehend. For the less enlightened, please
rewrite this essay in a style and structure appropriate for a graduate film history
course."

fxck that. and now she wants me to do it over?
yeah right.

so i respond:

"clearly you are not as intellectually advanced as i am, and i will not dumb down my 20-page term paper for the less enlightened. have a great holiday."

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so now i begin counting down the days until i'm eating crab - playing the magical negro (gift giving) - and enjoying the sun.

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oh!
and game night tonight at al's spot.
if you want to come - get at me.
college park, md.

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throw on some levi's
put the itunes on some house/techno
eat a few gingersnaps
& start your day late.

and have fun.
fxck the rest of 2009.

dc passed the bill and now everyone will be able to enjoy the fxcked up things westernized wedding rituals bring.
woo hoo!
"celebrate good times. come on."



so allow me to begin at the beginning (but quick).
fxcking around with @labellerochelle i accepted a contracted public relations position - making a few folks dreams come true.
well, they asked if i wanted to make some quick money helping them at an event they were catering.
they're good dudes, so i say yes.

basically:
i show up - get apron - get told by massa's wife & a house ni**a what to do - get grabbed/rubbed/verbally raped by old men - get paid - take liquor & go home.

between all of that, i told the white lady she was no longer allowed to speak to me directly after she tried to treat me like i wasn't somebody. i remembered vividly what made me hate jobs like this. i am not able to take people treating me like i need them.
i don't take out trash - i don't get water off the floor - i don't get looked at as if i'm 14 & pregnant.

the highlight of my night was shaking hands with dc's mayor (and nupe): adrian fenty
and meeting councilman david catania.
good guys.





i served fxcking food to people who were on my level intellectually and almost status-wise, but had to do so without them finding out.
luckily, somewhere between the steak and potatoes and faux wedding cake with the two brides & two grooms on top, i was able to introduce myself to a few heavy hitters as the degreed, self-motivating, soon-to-be cnn panelist that i am.
so fxck those trying to murder my ego.

i mean, shit...
now i have to watch how i treat servers and customer care folks.
when i pull up to the wendy's window, i won't look at the 29-year-old woman like she dropped out of 3rd grade and incapable of getting my order right.
i will treat her the way i want to be treated.

BUT I WILL NEVER IN LIFE - AGAIN - SERVE.


for those of you who can't really see me serving food - here's the video i woke up to (copy&paste the link):
http://twurl.nl/bdpomv

but all in all: congrats to those who worked hard at getting the bill to pass.
everyone deserves their time with the life they want to live.
make it worth it.

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so i went to give my money to the stores a few days ago.
i was in the market for a few pair of levis and a couple of pair of shoes.
but on my journey through target, galleria mall (st. louis) & some other big mall they had - i ran across this bullshxt.

who in the hell are wearing these drawls.
do they come complete with a pamper?
my balls are sweating just staring at them.

and then there are the 35-year-old stepdaddy shoes.
the kind you put your foot into with no lotion or sock & a pair of linen pants or jean shorts.
hahaha
why?


let's shop smart people.
what if you die with this bullshxt on.
i'd bury you in it.

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only those who haven't left the comforts of their neighborhood say "it's a small world."
i'm learning that.
so i'm trying to tell mofos how to get on the ball and discover shxt they've never seen - but no one wants to hear me.
only two of my friends have passports & only one of them have actually used it.
i don't want to die with my this bullshxt shaping my paradigm.
feel me?

so get your passports & let's hop the planes trains and automobiles.
and may be a few ships.

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and i spent this past weekend racking up sky miles & running up tabs in st. louis with my line brother and my two favorite assholes (@thebrownbarbie & @sunyblack)
we partied like it was 2003.





and if it hadn't been for the dc fog cancelling my flight and delaying theirs - the trip would have been sitting at 95%.
but i did get a free airline travel voucher out of it - so i can dig it.

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quick note:

members of kappa alpha psi fraternity, inc.
STOP THROWING UP THE DOUBLE YO!
IT'S UGLY & STOOPID



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so christmas is a-coming.
i will spend it on the beach with a barrel of crabs and swim trunks ordered from some trendy website for the in-fashion folks.
how does that sound?
i like it.

if it's too cool for the trunks - i will spend it in the park
on a flannel, red and white blanket with a picnic basket & hella food.
yaaah. that sounds good too.

and for those looking to get me gifts for the holiday i don't celebrate: cash is best.
got that?
great.

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and i've decided to give my heart away: