keeping up with jones

this is how I prey she said.

she said I preyed on women.
she said I was not so much infatuated with them as I was with their power, and I nodded my head – agreeing.
I could accept that.

I didn’t plead my case I listened.

she went on.
she said I was so in love with their power that I began stealing bits and pieces of it, leaving them with less and less...
she said I found myself less and less in love with them and more and more in love with myself…or the new power I now had.

I nodded slow and cleared my throat.
she went on.

she said I loved what the women stood for.
what they controlled.
what they could do with the power they had.

I smiled.

then she said I prey on these strong women.
not so much intentionally.
she told me I love strong women and in my search for the strongest, I put them through tests.
each woman thus far has failed.

she said this:
you’ve let these strong women fall for you and simultaneously you’ve taken all their power, control and metaphorical legs.
and you realize that a STRONG woman would never allow that to happen.
so you don’t love them anymore.

and that’s the way it happens with you, she said.

but there are strong women out there.

you just have to prEy.

she smelled like cotton candy & canal street - and i smelled like blue sugar and axe - and the chinese bus i had just gotten off. shit was melodic.

i had jay-z and foxxy shouting through the plugs in my ear - and the dvd lady standing in front of me holding copies of the latest. i hate bootleggers - but i sometimes visit the websites late at night.

side note: i dislike the film theater because of the bullshit they serve us. although the sour patch kids are great.

i'm not really one to compliment - but there was something about the threads she wore and the nose ring that did it for me.
and in my head i created her life - like i did for many of my characters.

she was born in harlem but had moved to a brownstone on stigwood like the cosbys.
she did a semester abroad in italy when she thought fashion was the shit - but traded it all for picket signs and sneakers once she changed to an african american studies major.

- & then she looked at me -

she's caught me spitting lyrics off the brooklyn bridge around midnight - she said.
she'd never forget my face.
she was in a yellow taxi with tears in her eyes - she said - so she knows i had never seen her.

but i offered her poetry and a yellow starburst.
i hate yellow startbursts.
she loved them - so i told her to stick around to witness my candy addiction.

*me: where's your stop?

she wanted to check out harlem with me.
explore the cracks in the sidewalk and laugh at the price of filet-o-fish meals in 125th.
stupid shxt.

but fxck it - we were strangers in an old place.
young though - but old enough to exchange twitter names and lip prints on cheeks.

we ended on 23rd & 6th giggling at ads on bus stop glasses
and her nintendo watch beeping around midnight.

we decided love wasn't in the stars for us.
just this one day at the beginning of fall.

i hailed her a taxi

she wrote me a note:
when i grow up - i want to fall in love with men just like you.

the ingredients of my weekend:

*three nupe parties
*six cups of nupe juice
*an omega party
*an 'unapproachable soft-booty chick'
*and too many laughs to count.

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the mood was set to a freddie jackson soundtrack.
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5 minutes after setting foot on my old stomping grounds in virginia, i saw a familiar face.
an old high school friend who lived around the block.

3 years after high school ended, she began dating one of my only enemies in the world.
that was cool, because she had packed on a few pounds, added a kid, and took up residence in the hood.
but she was still a little cute in the face.

she came to me with issues of her dude.
she suspected him of cheating - and me not like him, instigated the thoughts.
next thing i know...well...you know.

and so i wrote this poem in 2003 for her:

we search for our clothes in the dark to avoid each others' face
as long as i wanted this to happen
it should have never taken place

so yeah - we fxcked.
but it was definitely a one time thing.

and now - here she was, right in front of me with her body back to where i remember her being limber.
and her - unable to remove her eyes off of me as she explained to theresa how sexy i had become since high school.
and then this:

*her: oh my god. i thought i saw you over here. how long you in town?
*me: i just got here. i'll be here until i decide it's over i guess. (nervous laugh)
*her: you remember that time we fxcked?
*me: i'd have to lose all the brain cells in my head to forget something like that. [i kinda stole this line from the mac. but it did fit]
*her: when did you get so fxcking sexy?
*me: i don't know. sometime between you cheating on ol' boy & me looking at you right now thinking about how much i'd like to see those faces you made just one more time.

and then she laughed - and told me to call her before i skipped town.
it may have been the everclear or the nupe juice or the excitement of being around some of the greatest folks alive.
great times in 'the ville.'

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the rain did nothing but add a sentimental backdrop to whatever the fxck we had going on.
it hindered nothing - and i loved every second of it.

and to wake up on sunday - the day of departure - to nothing but sun was a great ending.
it was one of those weekends that you do SO BIG that sunday comes and you feel like you HAVE TO go home.
no one wishes it could last longer.
we did everything.

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and then there was the house party.

this fact holds true to this day - and it comes from me (a man that's lived in EVERY important place in the U.S.):
the university of virginia has the FINEST women on the face of the earth.

to name a few i've known:
Ashley
Erica
Jessica
Cierra
Elizabeth
Jean
Sara
Solome

and millions more.

so she comes up to me at the party and says:

*her 2: so you're s.p.e.r.m.? i've heard a lot about you.
*me: for real? what you hear.
*her 2: how about i tell your brother, and let him tell you?
*me: okay. tell eddie.
*her 2: okay.

[she walks up to eddie. eddie walks to me]

*eddie: she wants to fuck you tonight she says.
*me: of course she does.

and how did three holes get put in the wall of the apartment, people!?!?!?!

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if i wouldn't have pledged kappa - i wouldn't have pledged shit!
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the best part of the weekend though - would be kicking it with @bossjones [@thefojo] and the rest of the eta sigma chapter at UVa. it was like 2003-2005 all over again in charlottesville...

and i couldn't wait to get back to write vaguely to you all.
and i'm waiting for a few photos to be posted.
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and i leave with you with this: everyone dies. not everyone lives.