feeling like i'm flying


yeah yeah yeah
i know:
we shouldn't brag.

other folks' feelings get hurt when we do that.
some people may not be fortunate enough to have the things we have, so bragging should be prohibited.
fxck that!
if you worked as hard as i did to get the things i have - you'd brag to.

and i would be more sensitive of other folks' feelings if those folks didn't have the same opportunities that i have.
and i'm still building (i'm a long way from where i want to be).
feel me?
fxck those folks with nothing but time and no goals.

yeah! fxck those folks who sleep all day & put everything i have on luck.
i have not been lucky.
but what i have been was skilled.
i make sure that the only things i leave behind for the lazy is the shit i don't want.
got me?

no room in the car for the zombies or those that simply exist.
we live on this plane!
-----


and i'm sitting at another airline gate (american airline #32)
waiting on my flight to st. louis to begin boarding.
@brownslim is scooping me from the airport.

it really is amazing that i made it to this mofo this morning.
i spent last night wishing brittany c. a farewell (she's going back to texas).

most of my heavy hitters were in attendance and we did it big.
the bartender setting me up with free drinks & then the shots i brought for the table.
walked out of there with 'lifted' feeling & a high ass tab.
i'm no means a baller - but i am a good friend.
so let's celebrate and create memories.
fxck money for the next few days right!?

then to my secret crepe spot on 20th & L around 1:30am
then home hoping not to wake up drunk.

oh what a night.




and now to st. louis to spend the weekend with the three people i'd fxck around a lose a limb for.
@thebrownbarbie - @sunyblack & my line brother: dennis karl brown, jr.

we're celebrating 7 years in the bond of fraternity and friendship.
let's make this weekend the greatest.
cameras are charged and the clothes are packed.
yeah.



-----

so what i'm learning in '09 is that life is sometimes fucked up.
but it gives us a few days between the fucked up ones to smile - count stars - smell roses and love beautiful people.
(shout out to teresa dowell vest - one of the greatest folk of all time)

so smile today - love someone beautiful & live.

cry a river - build a bridge.



i'm thinking of smiling more.
what do you think?

so winter has brought her ass through dc like a traveling hooker.
my crippled hands prove it.
they look like i've been holding my cell phone for hours at a time...

but the conversation only last 26 minutes.

fxck! 32 degrees!
where are they doing that? (where dey do dat at?)

-----

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @AMANDASOPHIA - one of the biggest hustlers i know. from coast to coast!!!

so i'm still working on building this empire i'm constantly telling you guys about.
not bullshxt - but something real and sustainable. feel me?

so i'm shaking hands and making plans with as many folks with goals as i can.
and it doesn't really matter what their goal is.
the thing about me that sets me aside from the rest of the pack is this:

i have lived my life learning as much as i can about everything from whoever would teach me because i knew/know that one day i am going to come across someone that i can help - or that will help me further the goals i've set in place.

you want to build a house - let's do it.
you want to shoot a music video - let's do it.
you want to get god on the phone - let's do it.

because when i walk into a place as an unfamiliar face, i make sure everybody sitting at the table - and the surrounding tables - know me before they walk out. they know what i do & what i can do for them.
tip: be needed.



'cause like drake: i'm about my business!
(side note: although drake is a fxcking awesome mc - he cannot be taken serious. i watched him get shot on degrassi last week - again. it's too much. it's like zach morris rapping)

so last night was @amandasophia birthday - and after her pole dancing class, shoe shopping, late night run to ben's chili bowl, and the hundreds of kisses, hugs and facebook messages - we all found ourselves at zengo in china town for laughs, drinks and some of the best sushi and thai chicken empanadas. (sushi is not better than asia nine on 9th & e nw - get the obama presidential roll)


and i found myself around dreamers and achievers and beautiful women.
and we're all ready to get the hustle going.

-----

so i was having a conversation with youknowwho about relationships and people who constantly find themselves in some bullshxt and constantly telling their friends about it.

so let this be said for those who need to hear it:

people will only do what you allow them to do. if you allow them to treat you like shit - or if you allow them to treat the relationship like a basic friendship - it's your fault.
you have the option to get the fxck out. and when you don't leave - you're giving them permission.
and nobody wants to hear the bullshit anymore.
no one wants to hear your sobbing and crying and frustrations.
cry a river - build a bridge and get over it!

and let's all remember the story of the snake:

a lady was walking down a snowy road and found a snake frozen.
she took the snake home, thawed him out, and brought him back to life.
she and the snake became the best of friends and did everything together; they loved each other dearly.
one day, while feeding the snake, the snake bit her and poisoned her.
while lying on the floor dying, she asked: "snake - i thought you loved me. why would you do that?"
the snake smiled, looked at her and said "bitch. you knew i was a snake when you found me."

the end.

so "bitch" - learn your lesson - put on your running shoes & move on.

-----

i am a fxcking hustler!
there should be no question.

those of you who really been keeping up with jones since the early 2000's know i'm all about my quotes; creating and reading and re-posting:

“Good things happen to those who hustle.” -anais nin

“Some men can run the fastest, jump the highest, or lift the heaviest, but no man has the corner on ambition, desire, and hustle.” - anon


and the quote that best describes me:
“He was the embodiment of big-city scrappiness, a mean-streets survivor who got ahead on a good grin, good moves and better hustle.” - richard lacayo

-----

when midnight strikes it will be december 11, 2009.
that makes 7 years in this noble bond of fraternity.
11:03:03:53:17sec.
k.s.: n. ii d.e.e.p.
ace: dennis karl brown, jr.
deuce: me.
b.d.: rasheen tolliver.
l.d.: jerry daniels.

"we make 'em sharp. or we don't make 'em at all." - gamma theta motto.


-----

so i officially have three semesters left - assuming i don't get kicked out of school for telling my professor i would fuck her up if she can't find my paper work. (i told her with a straight face. dead fxcking serious)

and i still see no light at the end of the tunnel - but i am at the halfway mark - and looking back i honestly cannot say that it went by fast. that shxt dragged on like a mike jones album. fxck!
i need encouragement and a great bartender.

speaking of that - i'm thinking of going to bartender school next week.
where though?
florida - dc - new york?
let me know if you know of a cheap one.

-----

and it's december again.
i'd love to tell you to wake me up when the month ended but i have so much to look forward to.

i'm not christian.
christmas isn't my holiday.
but my family frequent the methodist and baptist churches so i'm sort of sensitive to that, so i don't rain on their parades.

and they respect the fact that i still love free shxt & money.
but the free shxt often gets taken back to the store or sold on the street.
so cash it is.

and right now i'm searching for some perfect shit for the folks i love so dearly.
they'll get them on the 26th - that way noone can prove i did anything in the name of the european man hanging on my grandmother's wall.

-----

what's the point in growing old if you have nothing to show for it?

let us die young or let us live forever.

moment of weakness


last night i sat at the island in the kitchen with all intentions to finish my 20 page research paper for film history that asked the question:

In "Cultural Identity and Cinematic Representations," centering his argument on the work of Franz Fanon, Stuart Hall insists that cultural identity is not based on essentialist notions of identity rather that identity is constructed through representation. What do Hall and Fanon mean in their discussions on national/cultural identity and what is cinema's role in constructing identity? What is the position of filmmaker in this production of identity?

around 2am - i hated school.
i fxcked around and slid from the path i was on and found myself on craigslist looking for jobs & gigs and shit.
i think i kinda needed a hug or something.
but i pushed on and kept writing after a few minutes of looking through bullshit jobs i wouldn't even allow a homeless man to accept.

i was fxcked up though. at a wall, staring at the height with no idea of how to get over it.
and then my sister reached out on twitter:

rorosoamazing @abednego_jones Be strong, be strong. Everyone that's part of the movement pulls their own weight. si se puede. [motivational words 4u&i] :)

and at 3:15pm this afternoon - got over the wall and completed my paper.
thank you.

-----

so what of this day?

they say the snow is coming. but i really need to get in the gym and make some of these muscles happen.
like for real for real.
but i need to eat this tilapia first.

before friday i'm throwing out all my old clothes.
well - not throwing them out. giving them to the less fortunate.
it's cold as fuck in dc.
and i figure if i do this i'll be forced to wear my new, cool shit.

time to make it happen 100%
i'm going to be so cool!!!!

-----

women love men who love passionately.
i'm so conscious and self-aware.

-----

so let's fxck around with friendship for a second.
and i swore to myself that starting months ago i was cutting negativity out and those who dwell in it...so i gotta keep that going.
i mean - really: lying to yourself is like lying to a dead man, you know.
so...

i've decided to let a few folks go without warning.
do they deserve warning? perhaps.

but i'm not dumb when it comes to relationships.
actually quite the opposite. i guess which is why i was a relationship counselor for so long.
and still am if you're looking for someone effective (plug).

so long.
bye bye.

-----

and i'm becoming human again.
i've found the number to my emotions and i've been back in touch.
i kinda love it, too.

it's the thing with getting older, really.
we learn to accept things. and we learn to feel.

remember when life used to be about eating shxt other than noodles
and walking out of class friday at 4 & being drunk til sunday night?

remember when it was tough paying the $375 rent in daytona beach for a 2 bedroom behind the church on george engram?
fxcking 357 rose ave.

and now i'm grown.
this is the life i wanted.
this is the life i built.

i am here because my thoughts and matching actions brought me here.


-----

and right now i want a peanut butter & banana panini from bus boys and poets
and i plan on getting one before midnight.
followed by gluttonous activity and a laxative.

-----

so no matter what the weather may be.
let's spend the day laughing and loving this life we've built.
okay people?
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