keeping up with jones

and we're now operating at 85%.
if it wasn't for me going through the ugly phase with the hair, we'd be at 100%.
but 85% is good.
especially when 100% of average people operate at 60%.
hahahaha

luckily i'm not average.
"i ain't no ordinary n*.
look around - this ain't what ordinary getcha" - hov

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so i got the clippers, and went to work.
nothing big, but i had to shape myself up and get rid of the whiskers growing under my nose.
not really my style at all.

plus it doesn't go well with my esteem.
in about two weeks, though, i will be at 98% and shxt will be great.


so i showered - exfoliated - lotioned - and sprayed a little cologne on before hitting the spot.
and i sat down on the foot of the ikea bed and thought to myself:

self, you need a new wardrobe by october.
something different - something NOT YOU.
try it for a week - if it works, stick with it.
if it doesn't work, donate the clothes to the boy on campus who used to be a girl.

so now, i'm playing with a few ideas for the new me.
and i'm kinda hiring a personal buyer, and dresser. (is that what they are called?)

well, @knonchalant1911 is my fashion guru, so as long as he stays on his shit, i will only need a local buyer that will work directly with him. email me your resume. serious business.

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okay - so many of you know i'm working on my FINAL degree (the terminal degree) - and i've been questioning exactly what it is i want to do with it when i'm finished.

mind you, i didn't stay in school this long to learn ANYTHING.
i learned in elementary school that school teaches us nothing. we must learn what we want to know on our own.
and or parents should be well informed on the rest.

i came to school because this is what you do when you want people to take you serious.
this is also the reason i became a minister.
YES, a minister. strange, huh?

well - i think i will put this degree to work.
carry on what cornel and mike started. feel me?

aside from building the school i already have in the works.
http://www.darnellwalker.com/project.htm

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now let's talk about the ignorant folks:

someone actually got pissed off at me because i said i don't watch nor do i support anything tyler perry or bet does.
of course the real reason they were mad is because their parents have conditioned them to believe that ignorance is bliss.

how to tell if you are ignorant:
*you love BET & tyler perry.
*you read slow.
*your email address is: limegreenskittlekindabytch@yahoo.com
*your childrens' names have the letters "QU" in it, and it ends with "IUS"
*you're reading this blog and sipping on a strawberry/kiwi drink. (lol)

and the list goes on.

but...yes...someone got mad at me for being educated, and not supporting the dumbing down of society.
but if we were all smart, who would work the counter at the liquor stores and mcdonalds i frequent.
who would keep the government busy processing welfare checks?

keep ignorance alive!

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and let me end on this note:
spaceships don't come equipped with rearview mirrors.

rule number one: do not under any circumstances go to a romantic film with an old flame. you end up with regrets and a hard d*ck before the film is over. and god forbid someone dies in the end - then you're left consoling as though her dog died.

so i ended up talking to allah and he said that it may not be a good idea to break my fast, so i waited til 7:37pm to eat. well, i broke it on mcdonalds. swiss mushroom angus burner. i should have gotten the southern style chicken sandwich. but apparently jesus paid it all, so i took what would fill me up - and a sweet tea. praise somebody.

and then there was the classic line: you know i haven't been with anyone since you and i were together.
in real life, though, i don't know that to be a fact. and i can't call her a liar - but it just seems hard to believe given two things:

1. the place we met.
2. she got a banging little body - and the glasses she rock are the business around her eyes. not really sure what it is - but they just seem to work.

so i replied: 'oh ok.' and the subject was changed.


but in the end i remember her being too sensitive and me not really giving a shxt - so it didn't work out. and it won't work out now. so we parted ways with a high five after my method of transportation arrived.

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oh...motherfxck!!!

i took a nap today.
i hate sleep and i REALLY hate naps. they were a waste of time.
but i was tired.
so i got me a 15 minute nap before jumping the path train to christopher street - then the 1 to times square.

was going to meet @knonchalant1911 but that was all bad because we are both poor apparently.
so i stood around daydreaming about BBQ's.

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will it rain this weekend?

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exiting the premises with this:
butch lesbians should not get into the club free on ladies night.
fxck that!

and so i figure if i mention my success - i must also mention my faliure.

well, it's not a failure at this very moment, but it may be soon after this blog is published.
i am hungry - tired - and starving. lol.
i am going to break my fast early.

sun down is at 7:30-ish
but i may not make it. i think around 12 it will become null and void, and i will be praying forgiveness, but won't be expecting it.
it happens, i guess.

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so i'm watching frasier right now thinking about applying for this $10,000/2000 word scholarship.
i think i shall create a few lines and pages about something and see how that turns out.

on a side note: some more fxckery has taken place at the great howard university.
not even worth talking about right now - just know it's crazy and i don't recommend the school to anyone.

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on an entertainment note: i can't wait for the jay-z and plies album to drop.
not a collective. two separate albums.

i think plies is one of my favorite artists. as long as you dont judge me for it, i'm cool.
because the truth is i do give a shit about what people think about me.
i am THAT insecure - but it's okay though.
you love me, don't you?

eff that. i don't really care.
just giving my two haters a little quote to use in their blogs.

but fxck yea!
that plies is going to be the truth.
and although my education doesn't allow me to converse with the ignorant, it does allow me to listen to the music the ignorant listen to, and i know that plies isn't as ignorant as he claims, so his hustle is ALMOST 100% respected by me.

"i play dumb, homie, but never been a fool"

and i don't even think i need to bring up jay-z any further, right?

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one last topic for the moment: relationships.

the summer is coming to a close.
the relationship season is approaching and everyone will be bunned up tight.

here's the general game plan:

*sept. 15 - oct. 30: flirt, link up casually, 3 dates (and a little sex).
*oct.31 - december 16: date for real for real - semi exclusively (cutting loose the others)
*dec 17 - march 7: date date date sex sex sex relationship (meeting parents, hanging with friends and their mates)
*march 7 - sept 14: break up for the summer of freedom and skin showing. (no one needs to be held in the summer)

and there you have it folks.
make it happen - do it big!

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and when all else fails:
(warning: contains adult material)

ladies: CLICK HERE

fellas: CLICK HERE

(i told you it was adult material)

-----

remember:
it's easy to find a needle in a haystack.
you just need to be willing to look through the stack straw by straw.

i want to be mentioned in the same breath as cornel west, michael eric dyson & jesus.

is that too much to ask?
i don't think so. so i'm securing a future and creating havoc every change i get.
people don't talk until you really piss them off.
so that's what i do.
"the money's not really worth it. i'm pissing you off on purpose."

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my plan today was to break my fast with oxtails, rice&peas, and salad...
but lo and behold it was two filet of fish sandwiches and a large axx fry.

inshallah tomorrow's meal will be better.

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i want to get a spot by the beach where everything will be irie.
one day.

right now i'll settle for a cheap cruise with tons of fun with jill as we drink big (well, i drink big) and try not to fall over the edge.

let's get it, J-to-the-ill.

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so i got off the chinese bus today and began my trek from times square to newark. before i could get to 39th and 7th i was dead out of breath. people here know how to WALK.

and i had a heavy axx backpack and a roller bag - not cool.
but i made it.

new york is fxcking sexy.
in 3 blocks i walked by models, bad odors, skyscrapers, and hustlers - and i loved every second.

and i rocked my 'i heart new york' shirt as though i never lived here.
i rocked out with my cock out plenty of times on 142nd and lenox...
left a few footprints around west 4 in jazz lounges and barnes and noble.

and now i'm back falling in love all over again.
but i have goals to accomplish elsewhere...
so new york, i will be back in a few.

okay?

-----

people - i will get at you...
it's picture taking time...

so today i fell asleep as soon as i put my head against the seat. no problem.
but when i opened my eyes an hour later, i noticed we were still sitting on the runway.
what the heck was that about?
so not only was i sitting on a hot plane for an hour, but i was also an hour late arriving east.

the west just can't seem to get it together.

but i made the escape.
and here i am now - in DC.

i shoulda been in NYC right now, but i will be there tomorrow by 5 - no problem.

new york city plans:
*write a new piece in central park
*eat at BBQ's
*kick it with the mandatory circles
*meeting meeting meeting
*make some major life decisions
*shake hands with at least 5 multi-millionaires

and i will be on the chinatown bus by 2 tomorrow!
woo!

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i'm working on my new york state of mind.

thursday morning before anything can begin i will be going to sit in my old chair in the barbershop and working on my east coast look - stay tuned for the pictures folks.

so tomorrow i will find that place where no footprint has been - and stomp.

stay tuned.

i don't know if janis joplin or mos def said it better, but - i'm leaving on a jet plane - i don't know when i'll be back again.

and i have a million thoughts racing through my head:
*what will be the first thing i see that makes me feel at home?
*who will i hug hardest and longer?
*who will cry upon my arrival?

and a few other things.

i decided tonight while sitting on the train that i need to be important.
well - i actually decided that a long time ago. but this time i mean truly important.
i want people to ask: what would "keeping-jones" do?

i'll be the new jesus of sorts.
oh well - i'll focus on that later - first i must tame the civil unrest on my other planet.

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Ramadan began on the 22nd.
the first three days for me are always the hardest.
tomorrow makes day 4 - and things are going.
it's in moments like these where God can be found.
it takes discipline - and in return for my discipline i recieve great things from GOD.

i woke up at 6am to get things squared away with some unreliable folks - and havent been to sleep yet.
which also means i was up for a very long time with no food or beverage.
craziness.
sundown was 7:29pm here in LA, and i had two kit kat bars.

but in return for that discipline allah saw to it that my film was completed with the help of some great folks at alpha and omega films - and many more great things to come.

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i'm standing in the kitchen at drew and dom's spot about to head out, and no one is here to see me off.

jeff, drew and dom:
you guys have fun in my absense and we shall connect soon.

do it big!

live it up!

so let me start by telling you about the bullshxt going on with my face: i'm breaking out. what the fxck happened? is it something i ate, drank, snorted? nah...probably the bootleg lotion i had to use the other day because the lotion JILL gave me was at my new york style studio. oh well - still looking good.

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so tonight was the opening of my stage play "dandelions" - actually the only showing of it. It was accepted into the summerfest '09 theater festival put on by battle cry empire. great stuff. out of hundreds of scripts they chose 15, and mine was included. how nice. and my actors were great, and so was the director and crew.

it's scratched off of the list of accomplishments. i've achieved more in the past three months in LA than most people will achieve in 8 years in 3 locations. it's just a part of who i am. this is what makes me who i am. IN EVERY FIELD OF HUMAN ENDEAVOR!

ramadan began the other day. for the ignorant who don't feel like googling ramadan, it's the month of fasting on the islamic calendar. no liquids or solids or anything going in the mouth during the daylight hours.

a few years ago i sat in my car with a box of oatmeal cream pies in my passenger seat, and all of a sudden it began talking to me. in order to shut up the little cellophane wrapped pie i had to devour it - followed by 3 others. i broke my fast. dangit. but i prayed - and all was forgiven i hope.

tuesday morning at 9am i board the red white & blue airline to make my way across the country.
first stop: washington, DC.
later that night: new york city.
saturday afternoon-night: michael jackson birthday party thrown by spike lee.

somewhere between there: dinner with big whigs - lunch with the beautiful linara - and meetings upon meetings to build this thing i call an empire.

if any of my blog readers are in new york city - let's kick it.
we can do it big.


there are people over there i'm beginning to think too much about. and by "over there" i mean THE EAST.
there is something appealing i miss.
there are taxis that pick you up on curbs and subway trains that stretch across the city.
there are rooftop parties full of educated folks who haven't smoked weed since college.
those are the things i miss.
so even if it's for a week - or for good - i will enjoy it all.
woo hoo!

and now - i'm eating mcdonald's before the sun comes up, making sure i can last through the day. the good news is that rochelle is fasting as well, so it won't be so tough. when shxt gets hard, i'll just call her and listen to how hungry she is. she's always hungrier than me - or equal. i think, actually, she tries hard to be JUST LIKE ME (hahaha).

gotta get in touch with some folks at 8:30am EST - so i have a little under two hours to go - damn it!
hurry!
and that's what the business is right now folks.

leaving you with this:
just because a brother has locks and a kufi doesn't mean that he's down.

and so after conversation with @BlaqIsBeautiful i decided to write about some shit that my good friends and i find disturbing. not so much disturbing as it is baffling. she asked "what is it about you that these chicks like?"

and please believe me - the question isn't new. two of the most necessary people alive: @sunyblack & @thebrownbarbie have been asking that question for years. but i can't give them an answer either.
maybe it's this wack charm i have about me. there's something about me that's so lame - it's cute. you know what i mean. it's kinda of hard to explain.

and then i'm often as truthful in person.
i don't understand it fully - but i've gathered that the more you tell a woman the truth, the more she likes you - whether that truth stings at first or not. STRANGE! who knew lying was wrong!?

oh - i'm losing my train of thought:
i've been called the tin man. one chick actually told me that i had no heart.
and i can lightweight understand where she's coming from. especially since i told her about my emotional deficiency. but i don't always want to be thus dude who lacks the capability to miss people - who can love you one day and not love you the next.

side note: indifference is the opposite of love - not hate.

one day i will find the wizard and get all my pre-2002 shxt back. all my emotions and feelings - and all that good stuff.

--------

and yesterday (just a few hours ago) i got my second public hater.
it feels kind of good.
to actually know there are people out there who feel that what i do is TOO MUCH.
i just look at it as what they're doing is NOT ENOUGH.

and clearly they didn't read what this blog was about: creating an inferiority complex among non hustlers since 1982. everybody else can read that right? instantly you should know what i'll be talking about. so when i say i'm better than some people, which i am, then you shouldn't be alarmed - because you can read.

that is all.

i will leave you with this:
make sure everyone stays rich within your cypher.