keeping up with jones

last night was great, man.

checked out a documentary that made fatherless children, abandoned grandmothers & bitter mothers not so much a black issue anymore - but universal. a film by ido haor. great work.

then me and my classmates hit bus boys & poets to talk, shoot the shxt, & drink to our hearts became light again. in real life what we were doing was releasing all the tension that built up last week with all the work due.
and we talk & drank & repeated.

we realized that we love it, though.
we love the busy feeling. working 80+ hour weeks making life happen and being forced to meet deadlines on impossible tasks. it's the life we were called to do. it's why we were where we were last week.
it's what brought us to 14th & V NW DC.

we are left brainers. that makes us different.
that means we will always be searching for that next great thing.

sidenote: have i blogged about the new tattoo:




after discussing the greeks' homosexuality - lauryn hill being called a rapper - and ghostface killah's lyrics we talked about what we needed to do to be where we want to be in 10 years.

some of us won't make it. some of us aren't as serious about what it is we claim we want.
but me...i'm on my shxt.
i grind hard.
when the people say move - i move.
the people said 'go to california and make it.' - i did.
the people said 'life is in new york city. go.' - i did.

and now the people are telling me to tighten the belt - buy a few bottles of 5 hour energy shots and a few cups of coffee and get this next goal out of the way.
and i will.

i play dumb - often.
but far from being a fool.
i'm a self-proclaimed genius. but don't take my word for it - ask about me.
and pretty soon - i'm gonna be that guy that with that accidental success story.
sitting on millions and a smile - next to youknowwho - drinking lemonades. wet willie's frozen drinks, and exotic waters - speaking to students who want to be where i am - telling them everything i know.

because the truth is: i don't want the range rover if my brother can't have one as well.

i am a hustler.
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i walked out of class monday & realized i needed to escape DC - so i got on the bolt bus and made my way to new york.
and a lot of you know i've been in the process of changing my wardrobe for the last 4 months.
well, the opportunity presented itself and i took advantage.

i brought my first few pair of fitting (skinny - but not so much) jeans - and some boots to rock out with them.
my south london blood (jenn) is going to hold my hand in the thrift shops and tell me what i need to get to complete it.
she's on her shxt too.
she & i have a few plans to make this thing happen HUGE.




get in on the movement folks.
that's exactly what this is.

most of you are trying to make it happen by speaking it into existence.
i'm making it happen.

join the movement.
i'm always open to suggestions when it comes to fashion.
because i lack there.

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and next weekend begins 'last roadtrip '09'
and i'm heading to florida.
still searching for a co-pilot.
who's down?

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in real life, folks, i'm a square.
i'm that one guy that people look at in the hood and try to figure out why i fit in so well.
i'm that friend everyone has that lives his life on luck and chance. things just happen for me. not because i'm cool - but because i'm ME.
strange, i tell you.

in high school i was voted 'most unforgettable'
in college i was "that dude"
and now i'm the father of a cloned kid (genius) - a published author of two books - a well traveled man - degreed (working on the final one) - and an excellent filmmaker.

i am on my shxt, folks.
and none of it was easy.
i just know what i want - and when i want it to happen - so i do it.

my environment was the same as my 7 friends who barely made it out of high school - and now waiting for release dates.
my environment was the same as the hundreds who have never made it beyond the virginia state line - and ask how i'm doing everytime i go home.

it's just that i'm on my shxt.
and it won't stop.


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headed to new york city once again to make a few dreams happen.
my life is getting to the point where there is not a fine line between 'meeting' & 'kicking it.'
and i'm going here to do one or the other.

when i return i will have figures in my head and a dream to focus on.
feel me?

so my homegirl asks: how will you know when you're successful?

from 2003 up until a few weeks ago i was living by diddy's definition.
diddy says he knew he was successful the first time he flew with no luggage.
i loved that. it was fxcking awesome. that statement means something, man!

but i was sitting there trying to figure out why i want to be successful & why i want to reach the level of success i'm aiming for.
and i called my mom to let her know i loved her, and it hit me:
*i will know i'm successful when i call my mom at work, and tell her that today is her last day*

"see i'm a hustler's hope. i'm not his pipe dream."
"when they speak of success - i'm what they might mean"

-jay z
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so next month i will be three semesters away from being able to officially call myself a scholar.
it almost feels good. i was starting to lost sigh of the light that hangs at the end of this fxcking tunnel howard university has made.

of the countless days i've had this semester, it's safe to say i spent at least 80% of those contemplating dropping out of school. but something kept pulling me back in. sometimes i'm mad at whatever it is that's been pulling me back, but sometimes, i love it.

and as fxcked up as it sounds, one of the main reasons i stick around is because i talk a lot of shit about a lot of people, and having 'dr.' attached to my name givs a lot of leeway there. and when they talk shit about me, there will be a lot of shit they won't be able to say.

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and then there is her.

she makes me feel like a square sometimes. like a lame ass dude - but i know that much is far from the truth.
but it's cool because i think she's starting to dig square guys.
well - not so much square guys - but me.
she digs me. and i can dig that.

so i told her i'd keep that smile on her face if she promised to only keep my small planet bright when need be.
she said 'ok' and giggled.

that girl is dangerous.
she reminds me of the days i call 'good old'
and she knows it - and laughs ever chance she gets.

i've broken all my rules for her.
i'm a law breaker - not a rule breaker.
i'd rather shoplift in walmart than tell her i miss her
but i have. and i do.
i miss her.

so when she reads this blog she won't be shocked at my words because i tell her this as often as i can.

she's 'words of affirmation' & i'm 'acts of service'
and she's interested in a writer. a man that creates sentences and catch phrases hoping to catch her attention before she considers squares un-cool.
so words of affirmation come daily.

and if i forgot to tell you today - i say it now:

the smile i wear on my face to match my handshakes, hugs, and jeans, are all because of you - beautiful.

"There is nothing that a woman has to do to get a man to commit. The man who sees that special spark in her, that only she possesses, will not expect her to be anything other than who she is. And he will value, appreciate, and love her for it." - hill harper (thanks)


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i started this blog to try to inspire as many folks as possible
& to teach the lazy how to hustle & grind.

and i find that i'm also forcing myself to push harder.

i'm not sure how many of my readers are filmmakers, or entertainers, or what have you - but this past weekend i found myself shooting 4 films in 3 days.
now, for those who may think that is easy...
my schedule began at 1pm friday afternoon & ended around 1am sunday.
i don't remember the bed, or closing my eyes - just the waking up parts.
but i did it.
with the help of great filmmakers, writers, directors, actors, and the like.

and if you live in DC - you, too, woke up saturday morning to a beautiful day & sunday morning to a warm day and you knew you had to get out for the day.

how many of you made life happen this weekend?
how many of you stayed home watching your favorite shows - making the dash between your birth and death date mean nothing?

let's live the life we've always wanted.

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i exit with this:

love and succeed with no limits. abandon inhibition & be.