keeping up with jones

disclaimer: this may be my ignorant post. read at your own risk.
-----

for the last two months i've been living in airports & port authorities & highways.
and i love the life i'm building.
but sometimes it gets to be too much. sometimes there are too many sacrifices made in the name of freedom.

and 99.2% of the time i'm actually a REALLY happy person.
i don't get stressed or concerned or worried.
my struggle is my struggle & i know everything works out in the end.
but then there's that .8%

those days when i just feel like shit.
those days i want to quit and just be normal for a bit.

and honestly - without my ego: there are people out there who'd kill for my life.
and i'd happily give it to them for a week.
i just want to walk in the door - leave my shoes and coat by the rack & fall onto the couch & talk shit all night with youknowwho.

one day.

-----

where i am: chicago midway airport.
what am i eating: southern style chicken sandwich meal with a sweet tea.

so i missed my flight this morning. all blame goes to me, of course.
then i flipped out 'cause i looked online and it said that my flight was the ONLY flight for the day leaving from dulles international - going to jackson, ms.
but if you've been keeping up with jones - then you know i GET SHIT DONE.

so that's why i'm in chicago.
waiting on my flight to jackson, ms.
long story.

let's move on.

-----

so i got folks getting mad with me because they tweet shit when they get into their emotions - and it's supposed to be about me - but i never read them - because sometimes i'm a selfish tweeter & i only read my @replies.
getthefuckouttaherewiththatbullshit.

-----

if it's one thing that we as black folks know - it's our job description.
we know what we're NOT supposed to do.
we may not know everything we're supposed to do - but if it's NOT there, we know that.

prime example:

manager: benny, what are you doing?
benny: just chilling right now. nothing big, why? what's good?
manager: since you have nothing to do right now, could you clean out the bathroom a little bit?
benny: you paying me what you pay the cleaning lady?
manager: no. i just figured that since you work here, too...
benny: no. that's not in my job description.

hahahahahahahahahaha

-----

i'm investing.
i'm teaching.

"why don't you ever come back home?"
is what they ask me when i go back home.

i came from a spot that's promising with a broken places.
it just so happens that most of the black folks still live in those broken places, so i stay where i am.
i don't want to see that.

i hate having to answer my high school friends when they ask:
"what you been doing?"
because i have to tell them the truth.
and i have no problem with telling my version of the truth - i just hate seeing their face when they realize that compared to the shit i'm doing - they've been standing still.

so i'm trying to teach as many of them how to run as possible.
i'm giving them coupons for the shoes i rock - the spots i shop.

i don't act brand new around them.
i act like the guy they remember - for one reason:
because that's who i am.
i've never changed.
ask anyone.
i take pride in that.

let's hit the block and do a few laps.

my folks that are running: (follow them on twitter)

- @dappertrav: "If you don't give it your all, you rob the world of you"
- @_tonyp: "i did not get to where i am by walking with losers"
- @mswoods03: "fucking catalina wine mixer"
- @soulcypher: "i wake up and press record on the camera"

-----


so i showed my film yesterday in class.
after it was taken a part and analyzed my professor told me that it seemed as though i was trying to brainwash people.
she said i produced a great piece of propaganda.
not a bad thing, i said. if i could do what the geniuses of the world did - GOOD.

see - my professor is an israeli jewish filmmaker
and i'm a conscious black filmmaker.
and i'm more concerned with opening up the mouths of the quiet folks and the ignorant so they can talk about the bullshit going on.
and my film sparked some shit in class.
especially since it had holocaustic imagery and shit.
and a lot of symbolism for those who watch movies for that reason.
click below to watch it!

THE FIELD NIGGER & THE BUCHENWALD JEW

-----

so now i'm chilling at gate A10 rocking out to sade's no ordinary love:

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love

I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling

I'm falling

Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying and I'm falling
and I'm falling

-----

follow me on twitter:

@abednego_jones